kenapa buat camtu??

Salam sayang buat teman2 yg sudi singgah di ceriteracinta saya ni..

Huhuhu..

Tetiba je ni..bangkit dari katil..

Terjah che as *nama laptop saya ^_^

Oke..buat kesekian kalinya..saya rasa seperti berada dlm gua..

Sbb even ada rumet..rumet sntiasa xde dlm bilik..

Klu ada pon..masing2 wt hal sndri..

We tried to start the conversation..

But..it just failed..

Xpela..mybe there should be some gap for a while between us..

*ada hal yg x setel..kt pihak dia..bkn saya..=)

Papepon..harap2..teman2 bahagia2 je hendaknya..

And yang paling penting..

Semoga hidup kita tika ini..

Adalah di bawah lembaran redha Ilahi..

insyAllah..=)

saya just nk share satu perkara dgn teman2..

there was someone..it’s ‘he’..

he asked me..about my past..

and..i did answer him sincerely..

but somehow..dia cm nk rebut *english word* saya..

as if..he knew me better than I know me myself..

*I just don’t know why..

As if..setiap jawapan yg saya nyatakan..

Dia nk ikut skema jawapan dia..

Ahahaha..

Lucu pon ada jugak..

I don’t know how can someone else know me better than I am..

So……hebat..*sorry to ‘he’..^_^

And..dia ada Tanya saya..

Cmne boleh terfikir nk buat silap dulu??

Oke..kind of ***** question..

Yela..he was born with kind-hearted..

Xpernah terlibat dlm hal2 jenayah sosial..

Xmacam saya..mybe ada yg pernah panggil saya bohsia kot..*saya xtaw..mybe jela kn..

Saya Tanya dia balik..

“ada ke org yg sebelum wt silap.dia mmg taw apa yg dia buat tu silap sebenarnya??”

Oke..kalau ada pon..mungkin ada yg xkesah..

Just go on je..

Asal happy..kn3???

I was like that before..

It was not that I don’t know what I was doing before was wrong..

It just that..i was immersed in those things..cam xde kesedaran dlm diri..

Simply put..lupa diri la..or lupa tuhan..*masyaAllah..

I have to admit..hati saya dulu jauh dgn Dia..

Saya solat..saya puasa..tp..

Penghayatan dlm beribadat kpdNya tu..mybe xde..or less..

That was why..i committed myself in those crimes..

Crimes bagi agama yg saya anuti..

And yes..once I realized..

I said “Ya Allah..apa sume ni??apa yg aku buat selama ni??”

Slowly  I transformed myself..*but to some,I did it drastically* =)

Xpela..tu kata org..tp bg saya..i cant delay anything..

“I am the sinner..i have to repent..i cant let myself to be in this so-called syurga dunia”..*It wont last ever!*

I start to wear tudung ‘besar’..

Oke..malu sgt2 when I first wore that tudung..

Saya malu sbb..it was really2 awkward for me..

I never dreamt to wear like that..but,

Yes, I did..decide to wear like that..

And I know..He loves me..He eases my way..

Even though cm ramai yg bg pandangan yg ‘minah ni pasai apa’..

Saya teruskan je..saya tahu..saya betul..klu nk fikir apa yg org kata..smp bila??

And..perlu ke fikir apa yg org kata klu kita rasa kita betul??

Sampai bila kita nk peduli dgn apa yg org kata if kita rasa kita kt lane yg btol??

Org terjun sungai yg ada buaya..kita nk terjun sama ke??

Saya bukan nk kata yg saya ni baik tahap malaikat..

I’m not..and never ever be one..

I know myself..and He knows me better..

And I can feel that..

He is giving me what I need..as human being..as Muslim..thats the most importantly..

Teringat vdeo kak wardina..

“bila kita berubah jadi baik,berduyun org baik dtg kt kita”

And yeah..thats true..

Kita xkn taw,until kita dah masuk dlm group..

Be one of them members..make me feel accepted..

Walaupun dulu mungkin ada jugak dalam kalangan ‘budak2 baik tu’ yg pandang sinis kt saya..

Tp tu sume dulu kn..*gaya cm skrg baik sgt..xdela rasa baik sgt2..at least..im trying to be one..

To achieve level ‘perfect’ tu..

Mustahil la kn..sbb manusia tu sentiasa berbolak-balik hatinya..

To some points..still ada kesilapan yg dilakukan walau sebaik mana seseorg tu..

To define ‘baik’ tu sndri adalah susah..

Well..like what I said la..

Im trying to be one..

insyaAllah..

and for you..my teman2 kesayangan..

it is not too late for you to be ‘baik’..

baik in what term??

Carilah buku ‘versus’ by hlovate..

Dlm novel tu ada dinyatakan..=)

“better late than never..but,it is better to never be late”..=)

Sungguh bermakna kn verse di atas?

Juga saya petik dari novel ‘versus’..

Thanks to ‘you’ for giving me that wonderful novel..=)

Semoga Allah turut memberkati kamoo kerana menyumbang ke arah perubahan saya..=)

Oke..sekian dulu buat tika ini..

Saya mintak diri dulu..

Salam alaik..=)

p/s :Written at 1215am, 26 September 2011