::perjuangan seorang isteri::

salam alaik. okay. tajuk tu macam sangat serius. and its really3 a serious matter to be talked about.

"perjuangan seorang wanita tidak akan sama selepas dia berkahwin dan berkeluarga,"

-dipetik daripada buku pemberian seorang akhawat, BICARALAH ATAS NAMA KASIH by Noraslina Jusin & Zaharuddin Abd Rahman

just so you know, the phrase was uttered by her husband because ustazah As cm upset/terusik dengan kata-kata beberapa muslimat muda yang mengatakan bahawa muslimat yang dahulunya aktif di kampus akan hilang 'taringnya' setelah berumah tangga serta dianggap sebagai 'hampeh' dan 'pancit'.

masa baca phrase ni, amal dapat rasa apa yang ustazah noraslina rasakan. even i'm just married for about one month, but the effects can just be felt from the day my husband said  "saya terima nikahnya Nuramalini Muhamad Amri......"

i did give my single friend to read the phrase up there, but she seemed felt nothing, most probably because she is not married yet. so, tak kisahla yang tu kan.

as wife, and as as student in a same time, there are too many challenges that i have to face. awal2 bukak semester baru hari tu, there were few lecturers that i met, and happened to be informed that i am married already, they just said "be careful" which means "do not get pregnant yet". yes, it sounds scary when people mention about kene delay study if pregnant. yet, i view that as ujian daripada Allah. kalau Allah nak bagi zuriat sekarang, i just accept willingly. yup, there are many consequences that me and husband need to face later on. but still, Allah knows the best for every of us. just don't worry. even me pon x risau kalau get pregnant in a short time ni. bagusnye la kawan2 ni kan. dorang yang tolong risaukn i. i know theyolls love iolls. ;)

by the way, i got married on 27th December 2012, and 4 days later i came to campus. it was a great perjuangan actually to be faced by me and husband. nevertheless, study tetap study la kan. and since my husband will be going back to new zealand on 2nd March 2013, there's a few time left. and with me who stays in hostel in campus, in Kedah, it takes me few sacrification to be done la. setakat ni almost 3x dah ulang alik kedah-kelantan. it's tiring, but when i remember the rewards that i'll receive for making my husband pleased, the tired-ness just faded away in empty air.

i just have little time to cook for him. to wash his clothes. to prepare his needs. that's not included my responsibility as daughter-in-law, sister-in-law to my husband's family. it's not that hard actually. but still, i have to sacrifice many things. the most obvious one is my DnT. i HAVE to ponteng few wasilah like daurah, jaulah for the time being. but deep, deep in my heart, i really3 wanna go along with other akhawat, going to those programs like before. but my husband is my priority now. we just have little time together. i dont ask people to understand what we are going through now. but please ponder why i HAVE to slow down my movement for THE TIME BEING.

it was quite upset actually when you receive an awkward look from your friends, especially your akhawat when you tell them you are going back again. and ade jugak yang gurau2 dengan berkata 'amal ni, mggu lepas dah balik, mggu ni pon nak balik lagi...". i know it was just a joke, but my heart is too soft to swallow the jokes. i always try to console myself by saying "sabarla..mereka xfaham what you are going through now". nak suruh dorang rasa apa yang kita rasa pon xboleh. takkanla nak suruh dorg kawin kejap to feel apa yang kita alami skrg kn. so, others' turns will be coming next. you'll understand what i'm facing now. doakan moga kita semua tabah. :)

just nak cerita about my upset-ness of having that not-understand-look from few people je. but it made me texted few people jugakla to share what i feel now. since nk create true feeling of the story, i just share la the contents of the messages between me and my kakak syg (akhawat)

me: hmm..next week tak balik. so, insyaAllah malam ni balik.. akak, amal salah ke if let go daurah@ jaulah sebab balik untuk jumpa suami?

kakak syg : hmm.. amal rasa macam mana?

me: kalau boleh amal memang xnak let go wasilah2 tu.. but my zauj won't be long in Malaysia. only one month left for him to be here. memang rasa rugi sangat sebab terpaksa 'ponteng' daurah etc2, but my zauj is my priority now. .for the time being.. lepas dia fly, xdenye amal nak balik tiap2 minggu.. insyaAllah gerak DnT akan berjalan macam biasa, or lebih laju.. insyaAllah..it's like luah mati emak, telan mati bapak kot..

kakak syg : it's okay syg.. akak dah anggap awk mcm adik akak dah.. jzkk sebab sudi berkongsi rasa ngan akak.. sebenarnya apa yang awk bgtaw akak sebentar td..sebenarnya..itulah juga apa yang zauj awk rasa.. InsyaAllah, akak yakin memandangkan masa antunna sangat sekejap, maka zauj awk pon kalau boleh nak spend time dengan awk..zainab al-ghazali pon bila buat dakwah, dia akan pastikan semua hak keluarga terlaksana dahulu.. dah layan suami dulu, baru pergi menunaikan kewajipan untuk berdakwah.. Redha Allah pada amal berpandukan pada redha suami amal pada amal.. sentiasa kene ingat yang tu.. insyaAllah..akak rasa amal dah buat keputusan yang tepat.. anggaplah kewajipan kita pada suami pun dikira sebagai dakwah.. insyaAllah, Allah sentiasa tahu apa yang bergelodak di hati amal.. mohonlah doa padaNya.. 

and i did receive ayat2 cinta dariNya thru kakak syg..

"maka tetaplah kamu (Muhammad) (di jalan yang benar), sebagaimana yang telah diperintahkan kepadamu dan juga orang yang bertaubat bersamamu, dan janganlah kamu melampaui batas. sungguh, Dia Maha Melihat apa yang kamu kerjakan" (11:112)

sungguh, Allah tahu apa yang kamu kerjakan. walau yang jelas, mahupun tersembunyi. 

:')